Oh my god I’m fat
I’m sure I’m not the only person that has seen a photo of themselves and has that “oh my god I’m fat” moment.
I remember the day this photograph was taken. It was the 22nd November 2015. Almost a year ago. It was the day the lovely Leanne Conroy (sorry too many Leanne’s) won her Pure Elite Pro Card in the Fitness Model Category.
At this point I had been a JPhysique client for 4 months. Coming off the back of a photoshoot I was fairly lean but on an unsustainable amount of calories and the goal was to build some lean muscle before cutting down again.
To do this I had to increase my calories…significantly. This in itself was a daunting prospect. Once I got my head around it and my strength started going up I loved it. When I started with JPhysique there wasn’t a goal to compete it was simply to improve my body composition which I thought would culminate in a photoshoot to document my hard work. I would have been lying to say the idea of competing wasn’t in the back of my mind somewhere though.
So when Leanne qualified for the Pure Elite Final it was a good opportunity to have a road trip to support her and to see what competing was all about.
I was feeling pretty good at this stage, food was plentiful, strength was good and I was enjoying the gym.
Watching the show was very inspiring. So many amazing physiques in one room. Leanne then went on to place 2nd in her first year of competing and it was a great day.
Obviously I wanted a photograph with the new Pro to mark the occasion. This is when the day went downhill. That evening I saw the photograph on Facebook and my mood completely changed. I looked huge and felt fat!! I was so upset when I saw the photograph I literally cried that night in the hotel room. I know this sounds very dramatic and looking at the photograph you probably wonder what on earth was wrong with me.
This is how I felt though. I decided I didn’t want to compete, that I would never be good enough and it was stupid of me to even think this was possible. All this from one photograph.
It took me a while to realise how stupid I was being. I was comparing my “off season” shape to girls that were at the peak of their journey.
I can now look back at that photograph and smile. I was on my own journey in this photograph (and doing a pretty good job) and a few months after this I made the decision that I would compete. The rest as they say is history and I am now less than a week away from my very own Final.
With ever increasing social media platforms it is easy to get sucked in to comparing yourself with others. There may be people comparing themselves with me as we speak.
My advice is to only compare yourself with what you see in the mirror. You are your own competition, and as long as you are striving to beat that person you will be onto a winner.